Artemus Ward

A showman, very cute, and very American The hypothetical writer of the essays or papers so called, the real author being Charles F. Browne.

Being asked if his name was Artemus or Artemus, he wrote on his address card:

Don't bother me with your etas and short e's,
Nor ask me for more than you have on my card; Oh! spare me from etymological sorties,
And simply accept me as Artemus Ward; Which, however, leaves the pronunciation of “Ward” doubtful.
Source: Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, E. Cobham Brewer, 1894
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