Election Haiku and Limerick Contest
Send us your best poetry about the neverending presidential race
All of the lies that I'm crafting
Overshadow the laws that I'm drafting.
But in 2001
When my two terms are done
I'll be free to go whitewater rafting.
- Keith Gilman
O.J. is to innocent
as Bush to victor.
- Bob Ulrich
Dangling bits of chad.
Who did you vote for? Bush? Gore?
- Scott and Roberta Freese
Guessing the intent.
Laws made before are now bent.
Calling in attorneys,
Making Al look wormy.
Gore is stale and spent!
The campaigns have begun you will find
But how can we make a choice of this kind
The possibility's endless
One's feckless, one's friendless
The words "rock" and "hard place" come to mind
Gore walk like a man
Crying time is done. You lose
Talk the talk go home
chad inspection week
hanging, pregnant, swinging door
shotgun wedding looms
Voters' wishes fly away
Into Jeb Trashcans
Seeking surplus to spend
His tax cut Bush tries to defend.
I'm getting quite bent
At that top one percent
They'll get all the cash in the end.
It's Dubya's turn at the bat.
His supporters are scared he'll fall flat.
His grammar is criminal
He can't say subliminal
He'd be better off as prez of his frat.
We complain about
Our choices in the voting
Cherish the freedom
shaking hands and stabbing backs
I refuse to vote
hai·ku (hI' kOO)
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Inspiration From Our Editors:
| Gore drives on the left|
Bush stays mainly to the right
Pull over I’m sick
With Bill and John out the door
We're left with George Bush and Al Gore
It might get a bit messy
But wait—is that Jesse
Ventura in two thousand four?
| Tormenting conflict|
painful horrid decision
Must pick Bush or Gore?
Wooden and stiff Al
Invented the internet?
Who is he kidding
| These candidates are getting pretty stale,|
Unfortunately one will prevail,
While one seems too stiff,
And the other likes to sniff,
On the bright side, at least there's no Quayle.
He’s the brand new Bush who’s younger and bigger
His Dad may have been old, but he’s full of vigor
He’ll cut taxes a ton
And let you keep your gun
But a "compassionate conservative" — how do you figure?
| Prochoice and aid for the poor|
You're a liberal down to your core
Your politics are great
But your persona's too sedate
I'm afraid Mr. Gore you're a bore
Choosing Bush or Gore
Do I want right or far right
Nothing Left to choose
| His name is George W. Bush|
They've raised millions to give him a push
but frat boy allegations
have caused hesitation
and he could land flat on his toosh