Doctor Jokes

Updated February 21, 2017 | Factmonster Staff

Doctor Jokes
Doctor, doctor, I have this feeling that I'm invisible!

Doctor, doctor, I've lost my memory!
    – When did you lose it?

When did I lose what?
Doctor, doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound!

Try answering the phone!
Doctor w/ X-Ray
Doctor, doctor, what did the X-ray of my head show?


Doctor, doctor, I feel like I'm turning into a bear!
    – How long have you felt this way?

Ever since I was a cub!
Doctor, doctor, everyone thinks I'm a liar!

I just can't believe that!

Doctor, doctor, I think I need glasses!

I think so too-this is a candy store!

Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing funny spots before my eyes!
    – Have you seen a doctor before?

No, just funny spots!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a hundred-dollar bill!

Go to the store-change would do you good!
Doctor, doctor, I broke my leg in four places!

Well, don't go back to any of them!

Doctor, doctor, I have this feeling that I'm invisible!

Did I hear a voice?
Doctor, doctor, I've had a stomachache since I ate that cheese.
    – Did it smell funny when you unwrapped it?

I was supposed to unwrap it?
Doctor, doctor, I've swallowed my pen!

Well then, start using a pencil!

Doctor, doctor, will I be able to swim after this operation?
    – Yes!

Great, I never could before!
Doctor, doctor, whenever I drink juice I get a pain in my eye!

Try taking the straw out of the glass!
Doctor w/ Bandaid
Doctor, doctor, I think I've turned into a dog!
    – Please sit down on this chair and tell me about it.

I can't, I'm not allowed on the furniture!

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